I walked out of church during the Profession of Faith during the 5:30 pm mass yesterday at St. Patrick's Church in Huntington, NY. No one noticed really. There'll be no mention in the newspaper. But the homily - from a priest who had already decried gay marriage from the pulpit - focused on a letter from a bishop in N.J. The reader's digest version: anyone who does not follow the teachings of the Catholic Church - OR VOTES for someone who doesn't - when it comes to abortion and euthanasia isn't really Catholic and it's dishonest for such a person to receive communion. And it's my duty as a Catholic to vote against any politician that does not agree with the Church in all its teachings.

I can't say it was unexpected; particularly from this particular priest and I had planned to listen and move on. But what forced me to leave was his declaration that Catholics aren't alone in this "fight" - there are Protestant, Jewish, even athiest pro-lifers, he said. And that's when it hit me - it would be okay for me to receive communion from this guy if I was against abortion rights but didn't believe in God. And then a sizable enough portion of the congregation clapped when he was done. That was the last straw for me.

I realized I didn't want to stand and profess my faith. So I walked out. Part of me is scared and sad and angry. How at 42 do I find another religion? How do I walk away from something that's been a part of who I am - in one way or another? I need to get over being sad -- will figure out what I'm going to do when the outrage arrives. And arrive it will.